Posts Tagged ‘Independence’

A couple of years, dozens of months and thousand of stories later…

February 16, 2015 Leave a comment

Inside a bus, going to Hong Kong from Shenzhen city in China. Head phones on. Shuffle mode on. As the songs from my old SD card that I used 3-6 years ago start playing, they’re reviving stories and feelings attached to them. Suddenly I realize that I haven’t looked back for a long time now. The struggle of that teen boy writing on this blog, trying to find his way through life seems like a distant unfamiliar story at the moment. It’s hard to identify myself with it anymore and yet if it wasn’t him, if I didn’t have his stubbornness, drama and depression I wouldn’t be here right now. I first had to be him to become who I am today. This is because he didn’t only have drama and negativity in him. He had this nameless feeling, something between hope and fear, pessimism and optimism, narcissism and humility, combined with the power to say «No» and not let others to define his life for him. This kind of unlikely combination of personal traits was enough to start the engines for his journey.

Chilibilly18 didn’t have a single idea where his life was heading but he knew where it was not. There was no way he would stay where he had grown up. Staying there would be the biggest mistake of his life and he knew it. He didn’t know how he is going to leave but he was sure he would find a way. Two years later, I’m sitting in a bus traveling to Hong Kong, alone, first time with my own earned money. How have I got here it’s a crazy story of good and bad luck, of unreasonable choices in unexpected occasions, but what is life but a chain of unpredictable events? Taking this moment to think about it all, it surprises me that life is actually going where I wanted it to go. I had many, at what seemed at a time, «bad» choices and moments of questioning my own goals in life but somehow all of it contributed to me moving forward, one step at a time.

Summing up my last two years, I spent one year in Philippines living alone. Leaving home at the age of 18 and traveling to other side of the world alone was a great challenge and mind-opening experience. It just can’t be expressed in words. Philippines feels like a home to me. The reason of my travel there is my love for film-making. I changed a couple of schools and was part of a lot of projects. The greatest teacher I met who is an award winning independent film-maker (not mentioning his name), left my second school and went to teach and make movies in China. Since he was the only person I actually learned a lot I decided to leave the school and follow him. Moved in Chengdu city in China on October 2014. A week before my visa would expire having as result me going back to Greece I got an English teaching job for kids for a big company which helped me extend my Visa. Fortunately the job is only a few hours per week and very well paid, not only I can live without my mother’s support but I can even save money now for film-making equipment. I’m preparing to make my own first movie later this year.

Everything is going great at the moment but it hasn’t been easy. Many unfortunate events have happened along the way. I had a surgery for my broken left arm( humerus) two months ago which again changed a lot of my plans at that time and left me completely disoriented. The doctors inserted a titanium plate in my arm which I’m going to take out next year with another surgery.It was expensive, my mother had to borrow money to pay for it. After that I had to survive many days with just eating bread. For the whole winter I wasn’t even able to buy a winter jacket so I used to wear two not-so-winter jackets haha. It was incredibly sorrowful walking back home at night, frozen and having only bread to eat, but then I thought about all of my acquaintances-friends who don’t have to deal with this because they decided to live their lives safely, without risking anything, and then I said to myself that I’d rather struggle doing what I love than being comfortable doing what I don’t. Realizing that struggle is part of the process gave me a mental boost. Goals don’t come easy. It’s those struggles in life that builds your character. And who would you rather be? Someone who had always had everything handed to him on his plate? or someone who should fight his way through hell to achieve it?