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Posts Tagged ‘cebu’

A couple of years, dozens of months and thousand of stories later…

February 16, 2015 Leave a comment

Inside a bus, going to Hong Kong from Shenzhen city in China. Head phones on. Shuffle mode on. As the songs from my old SD card that I used 3-6 years ago start playing, they’re reviving stories and feelings attached to them. Suddenly I realize that I haven’t looked back for a long time now. The struggle of that teen boy writing on this blog, trying to find his way through life seems like a distant unfamiliar story at the moment. It’s hard to identify myself with it anymore and yet if it wasn’t him, if I didn’t have his stubbornness, drama and depression I wouldn’t be here right now. I first had to be him to become who I am today. This is because he didn’t only have drama and negativity in him. He had this nameless feeling, something between hope and fear, pessimism and optimism, narcissism and humility, combined with the power to say «No» and not let others to define his life for him. This kind of unlikely combination of personal traits was enough to start the engines for his journey.

Chilibilly18 didn’t have a single idea where his life was heading but he knew where it was not. There was no way he would stay where he had grown up. Staying there would be the biggest mistake of his life and he knew it. He didn’t know how he is going to leave but he was sure he would find a way. Two years later, I’m sitting in a bus traveling to Hong Kong, alone, first time with my own earned money. How have I got here it’s a crazy story of good and bad luck, of unreasonable choices in unexpected occasions, but what is life but a chain of unpredictable events? Taking this moment to think about it all, it surprises me that life is actually going where I wanted it to go. I had many, at what seemed at a time, «bad» choices and moments of questioning my own goals in life but somehow all of it contributed to me moving forward, one step at a time.

Summing up my last two years, I spent one year in Philippines living alone. Leaving home at the age of 18 and traveling to other side of the world alone was a great challenge and mind-opening experience. It just can’t be expressed in words. Philippines feels like a home to me. The reason of my travel there is my love for film-making. I changed a couple of schools and was part of a lot of projects. The greatest teacher I met who is an award winning independent film-maker (not mentioning his name), left my second school and went to teach and make movies in China. Since he was the only person I actually learned a lot I decided to leave the school and follow him. Moved in Chengdu city in China on October 2014. A week before my visa would expire having as result me going back to Greece I got an English teaching job for kids for a big company which helped me extend my Visa. Fortunately the job is only a few hours per week and very well paid, not only I can live without my mother’s support but I can even save money now for film-making equipment. I’m preparing to make my own first movie later this year.

Everything is going great at the moment but it hasn’t been easy. Many unfortunate events have happened along the way. I had a surgery for my broken left arm( humerus) two months ago which again changed a lot of my plans at that time and left me completely disoriented. The doctors inserted a titanium plate in my arm which I’m going to take out next year with another surgery.It was expensive, my mother had to borrow money to pay for it. After that I had to survive many days with just eating bread. For the whole winter I wasn’t even able to buy a winter jacket so I used to wear two not-so-winter jackets haha. It was incredibly sorrowful walking back home at night, frozen and having only bread to eat, but then I thought about all of my acquaintances-friends who don’t have to deal with this because they decided to live their lives safely, without risking anything, and then I said to myself that I’d rather struggle doing what I love than being comfortable doing what I don’t. Realizing that struggle is part of the process gave me a mental boost. Goals don’t come easy. It’s those struggles in life that builds your character. And who would you rather be? Someone who had always had everything handed to him on his plate? or someone who should fight his way through hell to achieve it?

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Here we are…

So,  here we are. 17 days in Cebu have passed by so fast. I still haven’t realized completely that I’m here, that I left home. It all seems so unreal. One day you’re with your family in your home then the next day you are not.
It’s beautiful. Some people would say it’s also scary but I’m not feeling scared. I only was kinda afraid when I was in the bus after I said the last goodbyes to my family. I was wondering “Okay, now what?”. But this feeling faded away as the time had been passing.
I’m not saying that it’s easy and I’m totally “happy”. There were and still are some hard moments adjusting to the new “independent” life. I think they call it homesickness. Laying on the bed of your apartment all alone starring at your reflection on the glass of the door in front of you thinking “Hello mister, you’re on your own now”. I’ve spent the most time of my life in my room alone so I thought I won’t be influenced by that. But this was different. At that moment is probably when you realize that a new chapter in your life has began and you are on your own.
But right now I freaking love this moment. It’s 1 am and I’m sitting alone in the middle of the grass field listening to music. I haven’t had that much time to relax since I came here. Duties, shopping, meetings etc. But now, this moment is all I needed. Just some time with myself somewhere outside.

P.S. This is not a “advertising” blog so I never describe cities and not planning to do now. It’s all about feelings, thoughts and emotions.

Categories: alone, Cebu, My Life Tags: , , , , , , ,

Last night…

I haven’t realized yet that this is my last night in the house where I grew up. The last night in the room I’ve spent the most time of my life. The last night of this life because tomorrow a whole new chapter of my life begins. It’s weird. Most of the people would say that they feel excited for going abroad and sad for leaving their family and friends back. Right now I really don’t feel anything. I just can’t realize that tomorrow at the same time I will be far away from home. Everything seems normal to me. It’s night and I’m on my computer listening to music. Not stressed, not sad, not excited. I don’t know if this is temporary or a change on myself. I don’t even know if it’s a “good” thing or a “bad” thing. Does it come from my perspective on living in the moment and not thinking too much about the future? That’s why I don’t have any intense feeling right now? Because everything is still normal? I don’t know.

Anyway. This is my last post from home. My next one is going to be from my new home, Cebu. 😉

Don’t Even Think About It.

May 2, 2013 1 comment

I’m going to meet a lot of people in my 1+ year stay in Cebu, obviously. Some of them will become “friends”, some of them closer “friends” and some… my next broken “love” stories. I’m not looking for a “SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP” (whatever that means) in Cebu. Because after Cebu I’ll probably travel to live somewhere else and if I get attached to somebody our separation is going to be very hard for both of us, so better not even bother.

My relationship philosophy is that if you have doubts about it, it’s not the “PERFECT ONE” (whatever that means too), which means there’s something better for you out there.  Which also means if you are a person like me, who have doubts pretty much about everything, you’re F***ed Up :D. You will never find someone to spend your life with, you will be lonely and you will DIE ALONE… f**k ^^

This MAY sound kinda pessimistic. Okay I am pessimistic sometimes, and this is one of the times but I have my reasons to be like that.

In a month from now I’m going to Cebu…

So *COLD-HEARTED MODE ENABLED* you better…

Self Rejection?

April 15, 2013 2 comments

I have this feeling lately that I’m not interested in creating art anymore. For the past 8 months whatever I’ve been doing was art related. Creativity is the only way to kill boredom I thought. I’m not sure anymore. I’m not sure what’s the cause of this change in me. It may be because of the isolation, maybe I need a break. I hope things will completely change when I go to Philippines.

Cebu, I’m coming.

March 7, 2013 4 comments

After graduating high school I knew that I wanted to study film-making abroad. I don’t want a boring office job, doing the same things over and over again. So, I’m going to do what I really want to do. Art is my passion. I’m interested in pretty much everything art related. One of the reasons I chose film-making is because it’s a combination of art elements(Photography,music etc.).

“My goal is not to wake up at forty with the bitter realization that I’ve wasted my life in a job I hate, because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.”

-Daria

I’ve always wanted to visit Philippines for many reasons. So studying there is ideal for me. At this period of my life I don’t want to live in a overpopulated city away from nature. Philippines have beautiful nature. So ;). I A F T gave me the opportunity to study in Cebu. They gave me a scholarship. It’s a one year intensive program on film-making. What I really like about this school is that they don’t give much importance in theory (except the basics of course) and that it’s only one year. I don’t want to waste years of my life studying the 80% of the time about who did what? When? Why? Who was his father? blah blah blah. That’s irrelevant with art. I hate that. That way students end up becoming the imitations of those before them. You can’t teach art that way. I doubt if you can even teach art any way.

So, yeah, that’s it, I’m traveling in one or two months from now because I have to do some things first (visa, apartment, tickets etc.). Needless to say that I’m freaking excited.

Facts: My first foreign friend on Facebook was from Philippines. Many people from Philippines have found this blog even though I haven’t written anything about Philippines here until now. Even the first person who ever commented on this blog is from Philippines, Ren.

After that I don’t know what I’m going to do. I may stay there for a while or travel somewhere else. Perhaps one of my next destinations is going to be Hong Kong, Paris or Istanbul (I really liked it there).

But for now

CEBU, I’M COMING

cebu cityscape